Finished with like four and a half hours to spare. Comic buffers are for the weak!
Never turn your back in a nut-kicking duel… Actually, on second thought that may have been the best defense. But really, there is no defense against Chuck Norris in a nut-kicking contest.
After all… Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris’s Blood Type is AK-47.
Two more pages in this chapter then starting a new chapter that I haven’t titled yet. It involves bars, drinking, girl-bonding, and sidekick-swapping. Anyone have a chapter title for me?
Surely a second only gets to substitute for their principal if they are unable to continue the duel, not if the duel has been terminated? And why does Chuck Norris get to go first? Is this a clue to our sidekick’s name- that it starts with something after ‘C’?
Either way, I think that our sidekick is entitled to 3 penalty kicks for Chuck Norris jumping the gun.
Well, his name is Matt, and his hero name is Generic Kung-Fu Superhero Sidekick, both of which come after C.
superhero name
Actually, what’s really bothering me now is the idea that Chuck Norris is ANYONE’s sidekick. Surely the Norris is the absolute number 1?
He’s not a sidekick, he’s just unpowered. Alpha Male had to find someone unpowered to be his second, not that he had to be an actual sidekick.
Aand there was no one to protect Matt’s tenor.
Poor lad ‘s gonna be even more generic for a week.
As he – the super genius, mad scientist on a budget, strongest disciple Kenichi and chest full of well-written macguffins is very relatable – some of us really felt that. Oof.
P.S. Chuck Norris knows the ending to the Neverending Story
A title? Heroic Mix-Up at the Bar.
I will say this: It would not have mattered if Alphadouche launched Kickman’s huevos into the sun or not. All that would prove is that he is petty.
A small, petty, asshole in a cape.
Also, I thought Chuck Norris was a better man than that.
As for the next title: I humbly suggest ‘Shaken, not Stirred”
Chuck Norris doesn’t kick people. His foot exists; therefore you have been kicked.
hm he has to be getting more and more pissed getting kicked in his nuts over and over again. is it just me or does “Alphamale” sound like a good super villain name….?
Throw in a rabbi and you can call it “Bar mix-up”.
Sorry, I’m a dad, it’s a condition.
“SideKICK for a day”?
And now, Ampersand’s new theme, sung by the one and only, the Andrews Sisters:
(Bung, bung, bung, bung!) 26x
Ampersand man,
Bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest
That I’ve ever seen (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips
Like roses and clover (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Ampersand man,
I’m so alone(bung, bung, bung, bung)
Don’t have nobody
To call my own(bung, bung, bung, bung)
Please turn on your magic beam!
Ampersand man, bring me a dream.
(Bung, bung, bung, bung!)
Ampersand man,
Bring me a dream
Make him the cutest
That I’ve ever seen
Give him the word
That I’m not a rover
Then tell him
That his lonesome nights are over.
Ampersand man,
I’m so alone
Don’t have nobody
To call my own
Please turn on your magic beam (whoa)
Ampersand man, bring me a dream.
(Bung, bung, bung, bung!)
Ampersand man
(“Yesss?”)
Bring us a dream
Give him a pair of eyes
With a “come-hither” gleam
Give him a lonely heart
Like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace
Ampersand man,
Someone to hold (someone to hold)
Would be so peachy
Before we’re too old
So please turn on your magic beam!
Ampersand man,
Bring us,
Please, please, please!
Ampersand man, bring us a dream!
(Bung, bung, bung, bung!)