Vampires have like a million powers. Fighting them is like fighting Martian Manhunter. True they have half a million weaknesses, but unless you have advance notice that you’re going to be hunting vampires, you will almost never have anything handy in your utility belt to take one down.
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Super-strength, shapechange, mind control? Holy crap, they are the Martian Manhunter!
I know, right?
I’m looking around my office and there is not a lot made of wood. Its not easy for modern man to kill a vampire. Can you kill one with a paper ream through the heart? thats kinda wood.
The only way to kill a vampire with paper is to use it to print out an eviction notice and serve it to him during daylight hours.
An arrest warrant or subpoena might work, too. Maybe a really, really bad novel (but that would be cruel).
I’d just stick to a holy-water super-soaker & water grenades, given the chance.
Actually, wait a minute. What if I make an Origami Sun!
Hmm, yes. Vampires could run riot through a number of settings, where access to their banes (wooden stakes, sunlight, holy whatever, homes which they would need invitation to enter) might be limited.
– Office blocks (although most have at least a little natural light)
– Hospitals (ditto)
– Shopping malls
– Nuclear bunkers (which might make the perfect vampire lair, tbh; and even if the worst comes to the worst, the food comes to them).
– Underground railway lines
What am I missing?
Submarines
Factories (enclosed portions)
…
Now I’m imagining a vampiric office drama / spoof horror where an office block gets infested, and the heroes have until nightfall to stop the vamps before they leave, infect their fellow commuters on the way home, and said commuters go back in before daylight the next day to continue the cycle.
Um…
The dark side of the moon! …but lack of food.
Space station if it’s not real close to the sun. Actually I wonder what the minimum safe distance to a star is for a vampire…?
I really liked the premise of 30 days of night. If you go far enough north in the winter you can avoid sunlight for a whole month. It’s like a vampire vacation with an all you can eat buffet!